I’m sure all of you are aware that starting from today certain things in my life have changed. At times I asked myself, why does this always happen to me? What did I do to deserve all this? Where did I go wrong? Just when I thought I could finally settle down, it turned out to be the otherwise. From the very start, I’ve seen it coming through thus I was mentally prepared for this. However, I’m not emotionally prepared. But I decided to just give you a chance. Why? Because I trust that you were going to get rid of your “old” behaviour. Because I told myself maybe I should stop being too afraid and traumatized by the past experiences. I thought you could prove me wrong, unfortunately you failed. I should have trust my instincts better. Now I know the reason why you’ve been so cranky lately. Now I know the reason why you were behaving so strangely these days.. But despite all that, I don’t blame you. When I tried putting myself in your shoes, I comprehend how you felt. Your mind was in a whirl, I know. But have you ever thought that perhaps you shouldn’t have even asked me to be your girlfriend in the first place. Because all along, it wasn’t only me who’s on your mind. I’m sorry bcose i'm showing you attitude, I just couldn’t help it. What’s the point of being together when your heart is still with her? What’s the point if it’s only me who’s trying? Its useless.
Hey, you know what? Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Because if I didn’t found out last two days from your Ex, things will get worse in the long run and I might get hurt even more. And also because I was kept in the dark about this. Thank you for your love. Thank you for all the sacrifices. Thank you for the treats. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for showing me how to love once again. Thank you for the bittersweet memories. Thank you for everything.
It sucks that I feel unappreciated, it sucks when I felt like my presence were being taken for granted, it sucks that everything I do reminds me of you, it sucks that I have trouble sleeping at night. Forgive me if I always caused you so much heartaches, forgive me if I am always clumsy, forgive me if I always made you mad.
Everyone’s telling me to hang in there and everyone is expecting me to be strong. I don’t know if I can do it this time round, I really don’t. Thank you to those who sincerely care, thank you to those who text me just to ask if I’m okay, thank you to those who comforted me especially Kak Farah, Kak yana and Ezza ( hope u and yeye will be fine). Really appreciated it.I hope I can be back to normal. I fell so hard this time round, I need time to pick myself up. I hope I can do this by myself. I might need some motivation from my friends, that’s all. My heart is aching real bad, no one knows how hurt my heart cries out. Even though words can never bring me down easily, remember that I’m still a human with feelings afterall. My heart is delicate.
I can’t deny, I still love you the same Nasron :(
